Embracing My Journey: Breaking Free from the Self Sacrificing Schema

In the labyrinth of my own mind, I've come to recognise a familiar pattern—a deeply ingrained belief that the needs of others should always come before my own. This self sacrificing schema, though rooted in good intentions, has often left me feeling depleted, unseen, and disconnected from my own needs and desires. As I navigate this journey of self discovery and growth, I've come to understand the profound impact that this schema has had on my well being and relationships.

For as long as I can remember, I've been a people pleaser at heart, a constant strive to ensure everyone around me is happy and content, even if it means sacrificing my own happiness in the process. Saying no has always been a challenge, as I feared disappointing or upsetting others. Guilt and obligation have been unwelcome companions, whispering in my ear that my worth is measured by how much I can give and how little I can ask for in return.

The toll of this self sacrificing mindset has been profound. I've experienced bouts of burnout, moments where I've felt like I'm running on empty, yet still pushing myself to give more. Resentment has simmered beneath the surface, fueled by the realisation that my needs have often been relegated to the sidelines in favor of others'. In the midst of caring for everyone else, I've neglected to care for myself—to prioritise my own physical, emotional, and psychological well being.

But amidst the darkness, there is light, a glimmer of hope and possibility. Through self reflection, I've begun to unravel the layers of my self sacrificing schema. I've started to recognise the patterns of thought and behaviour that have kept me trapped in this cycle of self neglect. And with each step forward, I've reclaimed a bit of my autonomy, my voice, and my sense of worth.

Breaking free from the self sacrificing schema is not a linear journey, it's a messy, tumultuous process filled with setbacks and breakthroughs. But with each boundary I set, each act of self care I prioritise, I feel myself inching closer to a more balanced way of being. I'm learning to say no without guilt, to prioritise my own needs without apology, and to cultivate a deeper sense of self compassion and self worth.

As I continue on this journey of self discovery and growth, I'm reminded that I'm not alone. Seeking support from loved ones and professional guidance has been instrumental in navigating the twists and turns of this path. And though the road ahead may be uncertain, I'm filled with a sense of hope and possibility, that by embracing my own journey, I can rewrite the narrative of my life, one chapter at a time.

In embracing my journey, I'm learning to honour the needs of others without sacrificing my own. And in doing so, I'm reclaiming my power, my voice, and my agency to live a life that is authentically mine.

Christine Bunn

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